A Letter to my Younger Self

Butterflies in Stomach

This is a guest post from my friend, Wren-Margaret Grace. 

If I could look back and come alongside my younger self, the younger version of me as I was writing my own letters to my future husband, I would say this:

I know your heart is so tender and pure. I love that about you. In some ways, I’m envious of you because you are so innocent and wholehearted.

But trust me, crumble up the paper and throw it away.

The idea of keeping your focus on your marriage seems holy and right, and certainly it must be good marriage advice. It promises happiness and purity – but ten years from now, you will be reaping the true fruit of that bait.

It doesn’t bring happiness. It will bring you bondage, despair, and slavery. All those moments you wished your childhood and singleness away in trade for being a devoted wife could have been better spent learning how to love yourself the way God made you, flaws and quirks and all.

Be confident of yourself enough to not have to hide behind someone else’s leadership.

All of those moments spent dreaming about your ideal man will take a lifetime to undo. Sometimes temptation doesn’t look as lucrative and worldly as you would expect it to be. Sometimes temptation comes wrapped in a perfectly moral and upright packaging, but inside it’s rotten and poisonous.

Younger self, I know you want to know the answer to your undying question- what of that future husband? Is he worth the wait?

Sweetie, your husband is a fantastic guy, and he’s on his own journey with Jesus. You be who God made you to be, and God will do with him as He needs to.

But know this – while you will end up with a future husband, not everyone does. That’s a whole other issue with this mindset that I don’t have time to warn you about.

I’ll end with this: the only love you need to be focused on is Jesus, your Magnificent Creator; and use your amazing gifts to lift up the broken hearted. Keep doing what you’re doing – well except the letter thing, you can scrap that. Haha.

Well, on second thought, keep doing that, too. Because we all know, you follow your own gut not anyone else’s, not even your older, wiser self telling you something different.

All of this is part of your incredible story that you’ll be able to pass onto others.

Published by Nikki Holland

I am a Quaker wife, mother, pastor, and writer. I work as the country branch director of a fabulous NGO in Belize City and I recently graduated with an MDiv from Earlham School of Religion. I love my family, and I love my community.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: