Bump in the Road to Equality

Recently I read a comic about mental load, which (to ridiculously oversimplify things) is the concept that women hold a disproportionate amount of organization in their minds. We keep in our minds everything that must be done in our homes and for our families. I read the comic about a week too late to avoid […]

Idolatry of the penis

Consent is not once. Consent is given over and over and over. A dear friend wrote an article about something that really needed to be said, even though it’s sad it needed to be said and isn’t just known — sexual consent is not given once on wedding day to last for a lifetime; sexual […]

Consent and 1 Corinthians 7

There’s an article. I am not going to post a link to it because I don’t want to give it clicks. It went around about a year ago and now it’s going around again, with the approval of Christians. It’s about how in Christian marriages, you don’t have to ask for consent for sex because […]

Good enough?

My grandfather says he is egalitarian in the church. That is, he believes and practices gender equality in the church. But in marriage, he says, he is complementarian. In marriage, he has a hang up on one word: respect.  Egalitarian: term for gender equality used in Christian theology and church practice  Complementarian: term for gender […]

I Care about Gender Hierarchy Because…

“Power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely.” – Lord Acton We established in my last blog post about this topic (which you will find helpful to read in conjunction with this one, if you haven’t already) that complementarian men have all the practical power in a relationship. What happens in relationships with unequal balances […]

The Curse of Woman and the ESV

I have often stated that this blog is not about Biblical scholarship. There are many people who have already done that way better than I could and I see no reason to attempt to repeat their work. No. This blog is about the implications of what Biblical scholarship reveals and how it affects our lives. […]

Why do you care?

Sometimes people ask me why I care about other people’s marriages. Why do I make “such a big fuss” about complementarianism? Isn’t how we do marriages a personal decision? Aren’t there happy and healthy complementarian marriages? When people practice complementarian marriages “right” aren’t they good marriages? Well. Yes. To all of that. But. As I […]

Love and Doctrine

Over the past several years, starting with examining my complementarian beliefs (and ultimately rejecting them), I have been reading a lot about Christian beliefs and doctrines.  I found an article today about how love is never a mistake (which you should definitely read). And I really like it. Of course it brings up the question “How […]

Love Doesn’t Erase Women

This is a post my friend Ginna Baker and I wrote together, imagined as an interview, based on a Facebook conversation she started.   Nikki: So Ginna, I saw a post on your Facebook page this week asking your friends about their relationship to feminism: “Was there a first moment when you thought, ‘Maybe those […]

Trapped

Abuse comes in many forms. Physical, emotional, mental, spiritual. Unfortunately it is also pretty common among Christians, even ones who go to solid, Spirit filled churches. This post is pretty disturbing to me. It was written by a woman who wishes to remain anonymous. But I know her very well. I know that this is […]