Torn Curtains

This is a guest post from my friend Charissa Garver. I have two main concerns with using terms like “soft comp” or saying about couples, “They say they are comp but they are probably egal.” My concerns are: Consent and Christian testimony for Jesus. I cannot think of a single woman I know personally that […]

A Short Note About Wonder Woman

With about 75% of the rest of the world (it seems), I went to see Wonder Woman last Friday with my husband. I was nervous. Would they declare her to be wonderful because she performs well according to our culture’s male ideals? Would it be a celebration that women can be just as destructive as […]

Idolatry of the penis

Consent is not once. Consent is given over and over and over. A dear friend wrote an article about something that really needed to be said, even though it’s sad it needed to be said and isn’t just known — sexual consent is not given once on wedding day to last for a lifetime; sexual […]

Consent and 1 Corinthians 7

There’s an article. I am not going to post a link to it because I don’t want to give it clicks. It went around about a year ago and now it’s going around again, with the approval of Christians. It’s about how in Christian marriages, you don’t have to ask for consent for sex because […]

Good enough?

My grandfather says he is egalitarian in the church. That is, he believes and practices gender equality in the church. But in marriage, he says, he is complementarian. In marriage, he has a hang up on one word: respect.  Egalitarian: term for gender equality used in Christian theology and church practice  Complementarian: term for gender […]

I Care about Gender Hierarchy Because…

“Power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely.” – Lord Acton We established in my last blog post about this topic (which you will find helpful to read in conjunction with this one, if you haven’t already) that complementarian men have all the practical power in a relationship. What happens in relationships with unequal balances […]

Why do you care?

Sometimes people ask me why I care about other people’s marriages. Why do I make “such a big fuss” about complementarianism? Isn’t how we do marriages a personal decision? Aren’t there happy and healthy complementarian marriages? When people practice complementarian marriages “right” aren’t they good marriages? Well. Yes. To all of that. But. As I […]

Safe Relationships and Expanding Hearts

Last week a friend posted a story about a girl who had been hurt by the book I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris. She believes that the IKDG mindset contributed to the rape she experienced. Another friend of mine, who is a man, commented that he disagreed with her conclusions. This was my response […]

It’s my orgasm, not his [part 2]

This post is the second part of its title. To catch up on the discussion, see part 1. I see four glaring red lights flashing in Jasmine’s story, three things that we, the Body of Christ Himself, need to take into consideration if we are to prove ourselves effective and not crippled. 1. Autonomy does […]