Just Married

It was my husband’s birthday this week, so I got to spend some time thinking about what a huge blessing Brian is to me. And it reminds me of one of the most common remarks I hear about him from other women: “You’re so lucky.” Especially when our twins were babies and people saw him […]

Headship in Context

The single biggest question Brian and I had and that we hear in regards to equal partnership in marriage is: “What about the verses that say that the man is the ‘head’ of the woman?” There is something very, VERY important missing in the traditional understanding of the concept that men are meant to be […]

Follow the Leader

Last week I wrote about the main difference between complementarian and egalitarian marriages. I ended with a question – if no one is in charge, how do hard decisions get made? Somewhere along the way Christians started using terms like leader and follower to describe how marriages should work (though I cannot find this terminology for marriage […]

He Let Me Open the Door

Last week, my husband and I experienced a huge triumph for our personal marital equality. He let me open and hold a door for him. Not a big deal? Oh, it really is. I suspect he will laugh when he first reads this, but then he’ll think it through and understand. You see, this has […]

Does being equal make me in charge?

There’s a common misconception people have about marriages in which both spouses act with equal authority and submission. It’s that if the wife is not following her husband, she must be in front of him, pushing him around, telling him what he must do. This belief is especially pronounced around couples in which the husband […]

Why Am I Here?

“Why am I here? What is the purpose of me?” These are normal questions we expect a lot of teens to ask, and I certainly did. But I didn’t begin by asking them from a broad existential point of view. I started by questioning my gender. No, not a gender identity crisis, but a gender role […]